How To Scam A Nigerian

After watching Tinder Swindler and Inventing Anna, Nigerians were all over the place saying it could never be them. Nigerians would hardly fall for romance scams especially one that would require them parting with their money – except FESTAC and Port Harcourt women. Our #BreakTheBias never reach that level abeg but I digress.

So how can you successfully scam a Nigerian? Having given it some thought, I came up with these few points of mine.

  1. Have a mantra. I don’t know what it is with Nigerians and mantras but have one you drop after every speech or social media post. It could read, nah grace carry me come, no be hustle!
  2. Have a personal spiritual leader (Pastor, Imam, or Ifa priest). Make sure you have a picture of both of you where he is either praying for you or checking your business documents. Nigerians are religious and will believe you faster when you have a picture of a Pastor or an Imam
  3. Dress the part. This one is universal and not peculiar to Nigerians. Invictus Obi, Anna Sorokin, Elizabeth Holmes? Your wardrobe must include a black turtleneck, well-starched agabada, and a designer wristwatch- fake or real
  4. Let your post reflect luxury. Disclaimer here, Nigerians have a funny idea of the word luxury.  That said, let your post reflect your supposed wealth- Take pictures in the abroad, in a G-wagon, or in a Lekki ‘mansion’. Remember, it could be borrowed or stolen like that Enugu babe.
  5. Post daily motivational quotes. Number 5 is closely linked with 4. Under each luxury post, drop some motivation. Tell us how you had no shoes and trekked from Nibo to Nkissi to fetch water. After all, if you can make it, so can your minions
  6. Pay an influencer! Guys, you should know this point nau. Have you seen a successful scam in Nigeria without at least 3 influencers? You must spend money to make money.
  7. Do give away! To scam a Nigerian, you need to have cult followership. How else will people believe you? One common way to achieve this is to do giveaways. But you must shine your eyes. Have a mix of two authentic ones and one audio one. That way, the genuine ones will fight for you when people call you out.
  8. Have a photographer follow you around. You don’t want to spoil your parole with low-quality pictures. Remember, it’s all about branding. For women, have your makeup artist on speed dial
  9. Be a general merchandise guy! In all you do, don’t forget this one. What’s common with all the con artists in Nigeria? Versatility! Oshey Dangote the serial entrepreneur. You must be into real estate… that one is a must. Then throw in oil &gas, energy, etc. Make sure your portfolio has more than five businesses. How else do you want to prove to us that you are a business mogul?
  10. Give a TED talk or start a foundation. I agree, this is not for the average con artist. This needs a bit of finesse but hey, who says you can’t. Remember say nah grace carry you come.
  11. Promise an impossible Return on Investment. Is that not the essence of point 1 to 10. Tell them your ginger or cucumber farm can provide 170% ROI, share testimonials of people who have already cashed. Voila!

Bonus point!

Get a second passport. An average con artist knows all about plan B. Their usual plan B is to have a police escort. Remember you are not average. So, get a second passport where you cannot be extradited. Disguise yourself, go through Cotonou, and off you are!

When you have done all these, go ahead and demand anything from Nigerians. You’ve got them by the balls and may the odds be in the favour of EFCC.

 Don’t forget to add yours in the comment section. I have also written other lists here and here.

  • Emmanuel (@CrownedEmmanuel)
    Posted at 18:35h, 11 March Reply

    You’re on point with these. Nigerians will never learn. I think it’s the greed and also level of poverty that has consistently been responsible for their vulnerability.

  • Collins M.
    Posted at 19:34h, 11 March Reply

    May the odds be in favor of EFCC

  • Nnaemeka Ezeanowi
    Posted at 19:46h, 11 March Reply

    Facts on Facts
    Add remind people that 9 – 5 does not make anyone wealthy

    • admin
      Posted at 19:56h, 11 March Reply

      Haha! Oh yes.

  • Jollybabe
    Posted at 21:33h, 11 March Reply

    Well said

  • Stella
    Posted at 22:50h, 11 March Reply

    Okay, this was a great and funny read because I could picture faces and social media posts with each point shared, especially the black turtle neck.

    Unfortunately, Nigerians never learn or should I call this the “curse of resilience”? The quest to make it against all odds which pushes people to make bets with these scammers for uncountable number of times with the hope that the next one would be the last but sadly for most, it’s never the last because “resilience”. Resilience gone wrong; a never ending cycle only the scammers understand.

  • Toby Nwazor
    Posted at 05:28h, 12 March Reply

    In addition to the point about having a spiritual leader, become a spiritual leader yourself. Share some aspaya to akwaya talks here and there and tell people that it is God’s will for them to be wealthy. Boom.

    By the way, this make-believe world is easy to fall for. I remember this guy who was inspiring me back in the days. He wasn’t out to scam people though, but he was slashing cash around and dressing the part.

    In my small mind, he was a multi billionaire. One day we had a meetup where I asked him critical questions as per mentorship and he asked me how much I think he was worth.

    Excitedly I told him, and he laughed. According to him, he wasn’t worth anything close to 100 million. That a lot of the money he “has” was other people’s money.

    Yeah, he was making a few millions (naira) here and there, but all I was seeing was a show.

    E shock me.

  • Dinma
    Posted at 12:13h, 12 March Reply

    No lies told here. Everything points listed here are accurate!

  • Ozioma Mercy
    Posted at 09:10h, 13 March Reply

    The accuracy!!! Everything said is so true.

  • Caleb Ogbeta
    Posted at 02:54h, 20 December Reply

    No lies told. Well curated points.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 07:25h, 30 December Reply

      Thank you Caleb

    • Chris Omobude
      Posted at 16:12h, 01 January Reply

      Funny, but all very true… One day, we’ll learn our lessons when we’ve overcome greed…

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