Of Biases And Hashtags

Last night, while speaking with Ezi, our creative lead at Speakout Africa on the designs to put up for the international women’s day celebration, I reflected on some of the biases I have faced while navigating life. This year’s theme, #Breakingthebias resonates with almost every woman irrespective of their colour of skin or social status.

Whether in society, work, or home, women are prejudiced. Assumptions are often made for us; will you resign after your baby? Will you turn down the foreign study opportunity because you are married? Can you cope offshore? These biases are established based on gender and nothing else.  

For me, at the time I faced certain biases, they felt normal but as the years passed, I realized how ridiculous they were.

Case I

The year was 2014. I had just finished my NYSC and was seriously job hunting. Six months had passed and all I had was ‘stage 3’ of company A or ‘Dragnet’ at company B. I spent my time either traveling for exams and interviews or on the Nairaland job/career section. For this company, I had to go to Benin for my interview and was determined to get the job. The interviewer asked the usual why should I hire you? After answering, he started asking if love would not take me out of Benin city. I replied tautly that I was there for a job interview and all I cared for was a job and not love.

The tacit bias that my life and career were dependent on a man was appalling to me. Oh, I got the job and left after 7 months because as I already knew it would be, it was a terrible workplace- story for another day.

Case II

In 2015, I went for an interview for a management trainee role at an aviation fueling company at Ikeja. This was after a series of computer-based and paper-based tests. As soon as I walked into the interview room, without checking my qualification, the panelists- who were all men- decided I would be placed in the marketing department. As one of the men put it ‘You would be a great face for our company.’ He would go on to give other compliments which I did not find complimentary. When I spoke against the arbitrary placement, he argued it was not anything dirty like bank marketers. Red Flag! What broke Carmel’s back was being called irrational by one of the panelists for standing my ground on what the process should be as advertised during the application process.

Case III

A few years ago, I was working within Federal Ocean Terminal at Onne – Rivers state. The facility where we had lunch had a living quarter for expatriate staff who were mostly men. Every day, at the gate, security would ask me and my other female colleague for our ID cards while our male colleagues were given a free pass. Their reason was that they were avoiding women from harassing the men in the camp. I would always lose my cool. I demanded either they let me in without the humiliating process of showing my ID card or the men would also be asked to show theirs. I succeeded about 75% of the time while at other times, I would show my ID card to avoid wahala. This avoiding wahala is what I call bias normalization.

I think that women have normalized biases and see them as part of everyday life. So, they struggle and navigate through it. Those who succeed are hailed as ‘super woman’ ‘strong Black woman’ or other platitudes. If we are to #Breakthebias, then at the risk of being labelled difficult, obstinate, or bitchy, we must make a deliberate effort to spot and stop biases against women. It would seem however that the burden of ending prejudice against women lies on the very women who are prejudiced.

The biases could be broken through a culture of respect for women, ensuring inclusion at all decision-making levels. Recently, the National Assembly which is made up of over 95% of men voted against five bills that have the potential to reduce some biases women face.

The #breatthebias campaign does seek to pitch women against men as stereotyping is not gender-specific. While I have not experienced a woman-on-woman bias, my friend Dr. Ojiugo has had her fair share. in her words, ” During my pediatrics posting as a house officer, my senior registrar gave me a C in dressing because she said I was dressing like I was a senior colleague rather than a greenhorn. She constantly denigrated my efforts and almost sabotaged my presentation.” Dr. Ojiugo was left wondering the cause of the unfair treatment she received from the said colleague and for fear of retribution and being asked to repeat her posting she buried the hatchet.

Breaking biases require establishing a process and abiding by it. If the aviation fuel company had established a process for management trainees, I would not have been profiled for a marketing role. I have also spoken about the bias I faced as a lefthanded person while growing up where people’s concern was how I would serve my future husband food.

Today, I join all women across the globe to celebrate International Women’s Day 2022. Here is to us spotting and stopping biases around us. To us (women) not propagating biases against our fellow women, to everyone irrespective of gender to amplify female voices around you.

40 Comments
  • dnddyon
    Posted at 22:35h, 08 March Reply

    It’s not easy to be a woman these days!
    Not like it has ever been!
    May God continue to help us.
    Every woman has such demeaning stories, that’s why I’m ever grateful and appreciative of any woman that has fought for women’s right! It goes a long way to make things easy!

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 22:52h, 08 March Reply

      It has never been easy to be a woman. However, while most nations advance to create more equality, we seem to be retrogressing.

      • Kenisuomo
        Posted at 09:35h, 09 March Reply

        So many biases being a woman, a lot has to be done to bridge this gap and allow women enjoy their place in our society.

        • Chizzy Nwokoye
          Posted at 08:44h, 10 March Reply

          Thank you Kenny

    • Onochie
      Posted at 11:08h, 09 March Reply

      Injustice is bad and we all should work together to eliminate it. Personally, I do not like the idea of the victim mentality and the idea of painting an entire group of people in one colour. How do people arrive at certain assumptions about other people? What is the origin of these biases? How are these biases propagated? Sometimes it can also be the mentality that ‘the society is prejudiced against me’ that is the problem.
      Also the fundamental assumptions that in some cases result in prejudice can also in some other instances result in favouritism. We say this assumption is wrong when the result is not in our favour but keep quiet when the result is good for us.
      Don’t get me wrong. Injustice in our society should be eliminated and I work sincerely along those lines.

      • dnddyon
        Posted at 15:03h, 09 March Reply

        From personal experience, I’d say that a lot of the Nigerian society had been largely patriarchal that it requires intentionality and change of environment/culture to unlearn a lot of things.

        Just a couple of days back, I and a few young men were calling out bank security guards for meaningless protocols, but the guards took it out on me. Why not on the guys? This is one example.

        Some guys literally tell their female colleagues that “they have their type at home”. Such guts!

        I, as well, do not stand for marginalising the men so women will stand a chance. Let everyone have as much say and as much right in life. That’s my stand.

        • Chizzy Nwokoye
          Posted at 09:22h, 10 March Reply

          It’s the first paragraph for me!

  • Lilian
    Posted at 22:46h, 08 March Reply

    My estate has a WhatsApp group where only the men were added whilst knowing i spent more time in the country than my husband does . One time they needed 9500 per building to fix the transformer, they came to my gate to demand for it and asked ygr security to call me,I told the security to tell them to inform my husband on their WhatsApp group and shouldn’t disturb me.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 22:49h, 08 March Reply

      Oh yes!

      We have to keep up the energy.

  • Nonye
    Posted at 22:52h, 08 March Reply

    On interviews, went for one at an oil service firm for the position of Executive Assistant to the CEO. The interviewer was a woman and she asked me why I live alone and how my parents let me to do so. My parents live in the east and here I am in Lagos. I lived in a 3bed apartment with 2 other ladies, one an architect and the other a fashion designer. She said most parents, especially Igbos don’t allow their daughters move and live outside the family home. Then she went on to ask me if I’m into runs for living alone.

    The bias hurts different when it comes from our gender.
    We have to first look in the mirror while we #breakthebias

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 23:01h, 08 March Reply

      I agree with you!
      It hurts more when it is coming from a woman. We definitely have to look inwards to be sure we are not the ones propagating the bias.

    • Tochukwu
      Posted at 07:09h, 09 March Reply

      A very thoughtful piece by the way, which greatly highligts the bias women face in different spheres of life in Nigeria especially. I believe as you mentioned, we need to have a culture of respecting women to break this unfortunate bias.

      The silly reference to your being left-handed and how you would manage serving food to your husband really cracked me up.

  • Ursula
    Posted at 01:10h, 09 March Reply

    I join every woman in the world who has taken the bold step to break bias ,enough is enough. #breakthebias#IWD2022.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 08:54h, 09 March Reply

      Indeed! Happy IWD2022

  • Munchy
    Posted at 06:46h, 09 March Reply

    Lovely read dear. I stand with you. Standing my ground as a woman has always brought me names both good and bad…the good? wow! Strong woman, onye ishi, chief etc, the bad? Stubborn, heady, ekweekwe but my dear I have learnt to let things slide for some peace sometimes and some other times I will just have to stand till the end. May God help us especially in this men ruling country Nigeria( if u just say anything now,they will say it’s a man’s world).
    Happy women’s day to all the strong and quiet women out there. HWD to us.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 08:57h, 09 March Reply

      Yes, Dr. Muna. On picking our battles, He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.

      • ifeoma Uka
        Posted at 13:33h, 09 March Reply

        It all bothers on injustice. It is about keeping women “in their place” Truly, I wonder why it is a special issue for a woman to be left handed and it is not so for a man. Me, I’m proudly left handed and my first daughter is.
        I wonder why it is a big deal for some aged people especially women!

        The implications of these is, that it makes some of us “overly-sensitive” (and I use that phrase cautiously)and reactive.
        It informs our decisions sometimes.
        My boss has once told me that she has a “positive-bias” for women, that she’s all about creating platforms for women to thrive. I understand her perfectly. It’s a good thing.

        Personally, the cliche; “what a man can do, a woman can do better” annoys me. There’s hidden in that statement that there is no originality with the woman! Who said I’m even remotely interested in what a man is doing or does. (Let me just leave it at that)

        My point is, it seems we are constantly playing catch-up with the men. We are deliberately positioned by the society to play catch-up. It is sad, but it is the reality.

        If a woman stands her ground on controversial issues, she is immediately termed a feminist.

        Biko, the story is long.

        Some women also enable these patronizing treatments. Especially, the ones (treatment) that emanate from home. I believe our generation can make a difference. Let’s break the norm!
        Let’s teach our kids equality and then live what we preach.

        • Chizzy Nwokoye
          Posted at 09:13h, 10 March Reply

          I am just going to frame this comment.
          Nothing to add at all!

    • Godson
      Posted at 10:57h, 09 March Reply

      I can’t begin to imagine the biases an average woman experiences on a daily basis.
      These biases seem to be so mainstream that some of us perpetrate them without even realizing we are part of the problem. There’s a need for constant learning and unlearning to shed every element of these mundane mindset.
      We would keep screaming #BreakTheBias! until every iota of it is rid from every facet of society.

      • Chizzy Nwokoye
        Posted at 09:04h, 10 March Reply

        Yeah

        It’s called unconscious bias. The lady must be the nurse and the guy the doctor.
        A mindset change will contribute a lot to ending these biases.

  • OJ
    Posted at 09:44h, 09 March Reply

    Good piece… Biases are everywhere. You remember, the female has to be the one to take minutes/notes during meetings.
    Next meeting, they’ll be like Jerry was taking notes too when they don’t remember what was concluded on a particular agenda.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 08:46h, 10 March Reply

      Yes OJ, women are expected to take minutes of meetings.. SMH

  • Katchy Nwaebiem
    Posted at 10:09h, 09 March Reply

    I have no words. Our reality as women is everyday bias.

    I’ll tell my stories someday but till then, I’ll jeep standing my ground, unshakeable, focused and committed to excelling that you can’t miss me

    Thank you for sharing.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 08:50h, 10 March Reply

      Thank you for reading dear Katchy.
      Sometimes, even the most excellent of us is subjected to biases. Case in point is the reference of Dr. Okonjo-Iweala as a grandmother rather than talk about her glowing qualification.

  • Blossom
    Posted at 10:16h, 09 March Reply

    Biases could also be ‘personalised’. You know, we ‘women’, ‘feel’ alot more than we think; we reflect more on the ’emotional tone of each odd experience. So getting our ‘skills, ‘instincts trained in order to get and arm a unique paradigm shift @ every given occassion will get us to changing the narrative on this bias issue and then give us the required strength to ‘rise’ beyond ‘biaseslovely post dear@Chizzy

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 08:54h, 10 March Reply

      Thank you, Blossom.
      While I agree that women feel things more, the circumstances that give rise to these issues are hardly said to men.
      And we have internalised and normalised biases because we don’t be viewed as emotional or overreacting.

  • CHIJIOKE
    Posted at 10:18h, 09 March Reply

    Very very well said Chizzy.

    I’m a female architect here in the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Lol. Apart from being in the academia, I’ve always had my eye on building construction (as against interior design and landscaping). Sad thing is my clients sometimes ridicule my ability to function effectively as a building contractor, and would rather have me consult for them. Some of my female colleagues that are full time contractors have had their fair share of demeaning words from artisans and labourers. It’s that real. It’s also that bad.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 08:59h, 10 March Reply

      This is sad Chijioke. For every gain we have achieved for female engineers, it seems architects have taken several steps backward. My husband is also an architect and he tells me of the injustice female architects face in construction.

  • CHIJIOKE
    Posted at 10:32h, 09 March Reply

    Very very well said Chizzy.

    I’m a female architect here in the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Lol. Apart from being in the academia, I’ve always had my eye on building construction (as against interior design and landscaping). Sad thing is my clients sometimes ridicule my ability to function effectively as a building contractor, and would rather have me consult for them. Some of my female colleagues that are full time contractors have had their fair share of demeaning words from artisans and labourers. It’s that real. It’s also that bad.

  • Onochie
    Posted at 11:19h, 09 March Reply

    Injustice is bad and we all should work together to eliminate it. Personally, I do not like the idea of playing victim nor the idea of painting any group of people in one colour. How do people arrive at these assumptions about other people? What are the origins of these biases? How are these biases propagated? Sometimes it is the mentality that ‘the society is prejudiced against me’ that is the problem.
    Also the fundamental assumptions that in some cases result in prejudice can also in many instances result in favouritism.
    Don’t get me wrong. Injustice in our society should be eliminated and I work sincerely along those lines.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 09:07h, 10 March Reply

      Well, you asked how do we come up with the conclusion? I cited 3 different examples and I have more where those came from.
      Telling people that it’s their mindset is gaslighting.

  • Chinecherem
    Posted at 13:43h, 09 March Reply

    Let me take it up from where Katchy stopped.
    I “do not intend to pay attention” to what’s happening around me, I am a woman on a wheel; my strategy is that I try to build workplace relationships that would grant me adequate or sufficient access both for me and additional referral access (so that while I leave a workplace space I can still refer at least a lady there and she will be accepted). I’m focused, I’m sufficient, I’m intelligent and I have access. I don’t pay attention to micro and macro assaults in form of biases. I’m on the move. A little bit on daily bases I am intentional about getting to my top. Diverse injustice scenarios cannot stop me. So I keep moving.

    Chizzy please let me use your space and celebrate every woman pushing through despite societal issues and “normal”.

    Happy Int’l women’s week #

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 09:15h, 10 March Reply

      Well said Neche.
      Kudos

  • Efe
    Posted at 14:40h, 09 March Reply

    Quite an amazing write up, with unforgettable experiences. Sadly, this is same for every woman both in work places as well as with some family members (society at large) . Biases must be brought to an end. Despite the struggle that an average black woman has to face daily, I celebrate every woman. Thanks alot for sharing yours.

    • Chizzy Nwokoye
      Posted at 09:20h, 10 March Reply

      I celebrate you too

  • BelaChris
    Posted at 09:31h, 10 March Reply

    Apt message you passed here. Kudos to all of us who keep thriving and excelling inspite of these prejudices. We keep breaking barriers and forging ahead. Being a single woman, some people usually have the opinion that I have a male ‘Sponsor’ who provides for me& some even voice it out during conversations. Looking smart and approachable/courteous have been misconstrued as seductiveness/looseness, outspokenness and courage as rudeness, financial independence as pride. Regardless, we move.

  • Ola
    Posted at 10:39h, 10 March Reply

    IWD2022

  • Adwoa Adwofua Yeboah
    Posted at 21:27h, 11 March Reply

    Hey Chizzy, thank you for highlighting these, so much truth in there. May every woman out there contribute to breaking the biases that we face just because of our gender…beautifully written.

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