07 Jul On vulnerability
So, I recently had a conversation with a dear friend that left me in thought.
In his words, friendship requires vulnerability.
Before this moment, I had subconsciously associated vulnerability with my 9-5. At work, our HSE mandate is around resolving dilemmas, showing care, and vulnerability. People are often encouraged to be comfortable enough to be vulnerable. To admit you don’t know enough, that you need help or that you’ve made a mistake.
But the world teaches us otherwise. We are told to brave things, be resilient and not allow the world to see our weakness. And so, we live conflicting lives. We want to be described as independent, boss lady, alpha male, and all that. We feel an overwhelming desire to show our best face and muster smiles yet, deep within, all may not be well
Don’t get me wrong, we could still be all that and still allow room for vulnerability. Like they’re not mutually exclusive or rather, they shouldn’t be.
exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
Back to my discussion, friendship means able to let down your guard (at least a little) to connect with people. And because you are not in control of how people will treat you, there’s the possibility of getting hurt but there is also the possibility of having lifelong friends.
Friendship is about sharing life’s journey with those you care about; the highs, the lows, and everything in between. It could also mean being open to saying, help me, I’m struggling.
I’ve been blessed with the gift of amazing friends with whom I’ve shared my life journey. It hasn’t always been all rosy. There were times I made them angry and vice versa. And through it all, some have remained while for others, our chapter has closed. I don’t regret the times I shared with the friends I no longer communicate with. I cherish our memories and let them remain memories.
I guess the point of my “TED talk” is to preach the gospel of vulnerability. Vulnerability doesn’t mean you’re weak but rather it shows you’re human.