30 Dec On New Beginnings – Again!

When I first arrived in Corvallis, I had planned to write weekly. There were lots of stories I wanted to tell, and experiences to share, but that didn’t happen. Instead, day after day and week after week, I got drowned with school, work, life, and much more. Everything was new, and everything was happening all at once.

Read about my announcement here https://chizzynwokoye.com/new-beginnings/

New beginnings are not easy! They are often romanticized and viewed with dreamy utopic eyes. While they afford people an opportunity for a fresh start, I can’t help but wonder what the cost of that fresh start is.

In my first week in school, I discovered I had zero spatial intelligence, or so I thought! I had difficulties reading the map, remembering locations, and finding my bus. I would often walk around in circles and when I got tired, called for help. On one occasion, I entered the school bus with my friend Bola and didn’t know where we were headed or where to come down. Turning right, Bola spotted a man in his 50s. She approached him and asked for directions but met a cold glare. We waved at both the man and the driver, but we were blatantly ignored. That hurt very much!  Over time, though, I began to make out familiar streets and buildings and have rarely used google maps.

The thing with new beginnings is our desperate desire to figure it out all at once. To become familiar with the unfamiliar, wrangle our brain to process difficult developments in a short time and not feel the anxiety that comes with a new territory.

I remember walking into my first class in September. It was advanced chemical engineering analysis which is advanced calculus. As an engineering student, you often start with engineering maths, then advanced engineering maths. So technically, this course is [advanced]² engineering maths. I struggled to remember fundamental concepts in the course and to keep up with the fast pace of American education. I began to silently question if taking this path was the right decision. It got worse when I added the workload of a second course, a laboratory rotation, and my job as a teaching assistant.  I thought my master’s degree was the most difficult thing I had done but one semester here is already competing with that.

Success is exhilarating but it is not cheap or easy. I made it through my first term, but I am quickly reminded that I have a minimum of 15 terms to go. While the journey has scarcely begun, what is it they say about the journey of a thousand miles?

Motivational speakers would say, ‘leave your comfort zone because nothing grows there’, and I agree with them. I was in a dead-end comfort zone for 4 years, so I know how that feels. However, new beginnings are not utopia. They are challenging and you will doubt and question yourself a lot. You will get overwhelmed with anxiety and fear of the future. Like a toddler learning to walk, you might fail a few times but in all of these, push through. Take things one bit at a time, don’t try to figure out everything at once.

And just know, that everything good will come!

NB: I promise to write a weekly recap every Friday in 2023 and you must promise to read and share too!