20 Jun In a world without fathers

Every 11 years, my birthday, 20th June falls on a Sunday. Coincidentally, it means that day would also be Father’s Day

And while growing up, I hated the two times it happened. (1999& 2011). It reminded me of something I never really experienced; a father’s love -real or imagined.

But this year, I’m in a lot better place where I don’t hate it anymore. I moved from hatred to indifference and I’m leaning more towards acceptance.

Fathers day is one of the days in a year when the men in our lives are celebrated. Contrary to popular opinion, I’ve always believed that a world without fathers would be a chaotic one. (Hey ladies, chill)

Fatherhood among other things is being a role model to your children and society, teaching, providing for your family, and leaving an inheritance for them. It involves being present in the lives of your children. The least thing about being a father is being a sperm donor

A world without fathers is an unbalanced one.

A big percentage of the problem of society is caused by fathers who have left their duty post for women, the school or religious places.

Everything they say rises and falls on leadership. If fathers are the leaders of the family, then it means that everything rises and falls on fathers

A look at black communities in South Africa and the USA elucidates my point. In those communities, fathers are often absent in the lives of their children because they are either in jail, divorced, or unwed.

Children whose fathers are absent are more likely to become pregnant as teens, more likely to abuse substances, more likely to face abuse, and end up with psychological problems. Read the full report here.

Talking about psychological problems, there was a time I was heading towards being the poster girl for “daddy issues”. But I borrowed myself sense and I’m glad that phase is over. It’s however not as simple as that for everyone. People often go on to need therapy and counseling while for many others, irreparable harm has been done.

While we celebrate the fathers (and me ☺) today, I hope that for many, it would be a time of reflection on the kind of father you’ve been and the kind you want to be going forward.

I wish you all a happy father’s day.

PS: I shared this piece on mothers and mentors.

Borrowed myself sense: local parlance meaning I advised myself.