20 Aug 30+ And Single? 10 Common Things You Have DEFINITELY Experienced

Dear reader,

The responses I got from Sunday’s post were hilarious and relatable. I knew I had to do part two.

This time, we are focusing on the experiences of people who are 30+ and are yet to be married. I spoke with a few of my friends, and we came up with this list.

30+ and single? Grab a glass of wine let’s dive in.

1. People always crave rice and drinks around you.

They ask you when we go chop rice? If you’re like me, you reply with a straight face; Uncle, if you want to eat rice, go to Chicken republic.

2. Your mother occasionally wakes you up by 4 am for a heart-to-heart talk.

She starts by telling you not to vex before going into her tirade. She concludes 2 hours later saying how it’s coming from a place of love. So, you smile and face the day.

3. You think twice before posting pictures taken with the opposite gender.

Once you post someone’s picture, people will already match you with the person and reply with all kinds of smileys. “The brother we saw in that your get together picture is he married? He looks like a gentleman oh. This babe set die; she would make a great bride.

4. People tell you you’re single because of an ancestral curse.

I feel like I can write a full article on this one. Unmarried people, ladies are made to believe they are single because of one ancient altar. This is not to deny the fact that there are forces that cause problems in people’s lives but mehn, nah for single people body the curse dey always manifest. 

5. Posting your groomsmen/ asoebi/ bridal train pictures no longer excites you. 

Once you post an asoebi picture, unsolicited replies will start flying in. ” Your own is next in Jesus’ name”, “God will do it for you”, ” You are next in line for a miracle”, “What God cannot do…” or “Aren’t you too old for this?”.

6. Family functions now trigger an anxiety attack 

During family functions, you will do well to avoid running into aunties who ask you when you’re bringing a man or wife home. Or into a younger cousin who already has 4 kids it doesn’t matter that none is in school. To the family, the pecking order for cousins is not age but how long you’ve been married. After all, man nah man. Then after the event, when everyone returns home, you’re left with the bulk of the chores. So, what’s the point you wonder? Just skip future events except it’s your wedding.

7. There is this worry about the quality of your eggs (and sperm too)

You’re constantly reminded the biological clock is ticking. You begin to consider freezing your eggs but when you hear of the process and cost, you back out. 

8. Frequent unsolicited advice from people who feel they have a say in your life

If you go on vacation and post your pictures expect someone to remind you of your single status. Aunty who has never left Ijebu-Ode will say “Why not marry first and then travel with your husband?”

9. You are not expected to go for higher degrees or advance in your career.

Friends and aunties will say to you, “men will be afraid to approach you” or “your needs will be unto your career and not your husband”. As for a PhD? Totally off-limits after all, everything no be not education because your degree will not warm your bed at night.

10. People expect you to be speckless and not have an opinion.

Your friends and family are always trying to hook you up with a guy/girl.  You on the other hand is afraid to say you don’t like the person or something is just off. They will say, nah why you never marry. You too dey select husband/wife. Heaven forbid that you get angry or express displeasure.

Bonus point

Posting pictures of you with your nephews and nieces are frowned upon. You don’t want to scare people into thinking you’re a parent.

Life is hard already for people not to mind thier business. Next time, when you see a single person, don’t ask them when they are getting married. Don’t! especially when you’re not in their inner circle.

Making hurtful jokes should be avoided too. You have no idea what kind of mental pressure someone experiences. Resist the urge to add yours.

Did I forget anyone? let’s add to it in the comment section.

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